On the Verge of Tears
Years ago ,I went by night train to Mao Ling ,a sacred place in Shaanxi Province,to pay homage to the sculptures standing before Huo Qubing's tomb.
1，题目虽然是《哭》但根据文章内容，题目更确切的意思应为“快要流泪”，或“几乎流泪”，因此译为On the Verge of Tears
2，“那年”即“有一年”或“几年前”，译为that year会造成读者困扰，因为that 通常指前面提到过的事物，现译Years ago
夜车到了终点站，霍去病墓还老远。在那满天星斗的西北草原上，我时而顺着大车道，时而踏着羊肠小径往前赶路，及至霍去病墓地，天色才开始曙明。附近没有行 人,我迫不及待的扑向墓前那几座庞然巨物的伟大雕刻作品。我十分激动，它们永远是活着的，并一直是我精神上的支柱。当我在异国遭到歧视的时候，当世界上其 他国家的杰出艺术品令我敬仰的时候，我自馁的时候，痛苦的时候……这几座气势磅礴的永恒的石头雕刻便总会呈现在我的眼前。
As it was a long way from the terminal station to Huo's tomb,I had to hurry on with my journey on foot under the starry sky of Northwest China,sometimes on along a broad road,sometimes on a narrow footpath.The day was just dawning when I arrived at Huo's tomb.Not a pedestrian in sight.I lost no time in presenting myself before the majestic carved works of great magnitude before the tomb ,I was beside myself with agitation .The immortal art treasures will be my permanent spiritual prop.Whenever I am discriminated against in a foreign country ,whenever I stand in awe before a foreign outstanding work of art ,whenever I am disheartened,whenever I suffer agony … these imperishable stone carvings of amazing grandeur will inevitably appear in my minds eye.
1，“夜车到了终点站，霍去病墓还老远。”译为As it was a long way from the terminal station to Huo's tomb，以as串句简洁流畅，如果用when the night train arrived at its terminal station, Huo’s tomb still a long way off…则不如第一种译法通顺
2，“我…往前赶路”译为I had to hurry on with my journey，to hurry on with 意为“匆忙做某事”如：He promised to hurry on with the report and send it to us today. (他答应赶紧写好报告,今天就给我们送来.)
3,“附近没有行人”译为Not a pedestrian in sight,其中省略了was，不知道有多少童鞋想译成there be……
4，“我迫不及待地扑向…”译为I lost no time in presenting myself before… 其中“迫不及待”还可译为hurriedly ,“扑向”即“奔向”，还可译为came up to…
5,“它们永远是活着的，并一直是我精神上的支柱”译为The immortal art treasures will be my permanent spiritual prop,其中art treasure 是译者后加的，属于增添词，为的是满足造句的需要
综述：本段在简化句子结构和增加流畅性上有很多出彩的表达，比如Not a pedestrian in sight…和借用增译词来引导句子，值得我们借鉴。
我 久久徘徊于霍墓雕刻间，远看，浑然一体；近看，耐人寻味，在粗犷的斧凿中行走着蜿蜒的线。斯是顽石，却生意盎然，全世界的艺术家到此不能不肃然起敬！“我 们的祖先比你强的多！”我也许是继承了阿Q精神胜利的一面吧，但有了这样矗立在世界艺术史上的祖先爷爷，确实得天独厚。这总是值得欣慰的！
I loitered for quite a long while among the sculptures, which were an integrated mass when viewed from afar and very intriguing when scrutinized lose by. Traceable among the rough marks of loitered and chisel were delicate lines zigzagging .Insensate as they were, the carved stones were brimming with life and vigor, Artists from all over the world cannot help feeling awed when they visit this place."Our forefathers did much better than you!" I declared ,maybe affected by Ah Q's philosphy of "spiritual victory". We are indeed very lucky to have our forefathers standing tall and upright in the world history of art. This is certainly a matter for rejoicing.
1，“在粗犷的斧凿中行走着蜿蜒的线”即“蜿蜒的线条行走于粗犷的斧凿痕迹中” 译为Traceable among the rough marks of hatchet and chisel were delicate lines zigzagging .译者采用倒装句，更加突出“线条”的主语地位
2，“都不能不”译为“都禁不住要…”译为can not help doing
3,“我也许是继承了阿Q精神胜利的一面吧”即“我也许是受了阿Q‘精神胜利法’的影响”译为maybe affected by Ah Q's philosphy of "spiritual victory". philosophy作“人生哲学”“观点”解，外国读者可能不理解什么是“阿Q精神”此处要稍微解释一下
In 1989,While revisiting Paris ,I felt all sorts of emotion surging up within me, Back in China, when I paid another visited to Xi'an and the sculptures before Huo's tomb,I was seized with mixed feelings, I just felt like crying with abandon as I stand once more before Huo's tomb, before the Chin Dynasty terra cotta warriors and horses and before the Han Tang Upright stone tablets bearing ancient inscriptions .But I refrained from tears because I was then accompanied by my wife and surrounded by numerous spectators. Why did I feel like having a good cry？Because my motherland is so great and because of my fears about the descendants of the eagles turning out to be sparrows.
1，“我只想嚎啕痛哭”译为I just felt like crying with abandon，其中with abandon作“放任”“纵情”解，如：People were shouting and cheering with abandon. 意即”人们兴高采烈,纵情欢呼.”后面的good cry也是“痛哭一场”的意思
2，“哭老鹰的后代不会变成麻雀吧”意即“因为担心老鹰的后代会变成麻雀而哭”译为because of my fears about the descendants of the eagles turning out to be sparrows.其中my fears about 和I am worried that 都是根据意思的增益的词，为了文章的顺畅表达